I have been a lot of things to a lot of different people, but it wasn’t until a couple of months ago, at ATS that I learned to just BE; To just be a daughter, to just be Madelyn, to simply be.
In the past I had been that connect who was always in full supply for her customers. The ride or die chick who was down for whatever, for her set. The crazy girl, who didn’t care about a thing. The rebellious one, who thought only about herself and her interest.
And then when I became a Christian, I became a follower of Christ. A disciple. A worshipper. At Nyack College, I became an R.A., a small group leader, a peer mentor, a preacher, and a friend to many.
But every role, I have ever played, has always been with the goal and purpose of receiving love, acceptance and an identity that I, ultimately could never find apart from Christ.
The thing is you, reading this, are just like me, you too have worked hard trying to be something to some one and I my friend have good news; You DO NOT have to work anymore!
For me this revelation came during a time of ministry in one of my seminary courses at the Alliance Theological Seminary. My professors Dr. Walborn and Dr. Reimer announced that they were going to end class early in order to have a time of ministry. I knew at that very moment that God had something up his sleeve for me. After praying with and for several friends, it was time.
As two of my friends began to pray, in my mind I saw a picture of huge wall, with words written all over it. These words were the names of things I had tried to be for so long. Then I saw a massive jack hammer strike the wall, until the wall began to crumble. What I saw next changed everything; I saw myself as a baby in a crib, in a dark room, alone. I was crying, and crying and no one was coming. And I thought, “why isn’t any one coming to me”. That’s when I saw the door open and this man clothed in white walked over and picked me up, he held me tightly to his chest, and said ” I have always been with you”.
Tears and snot were falling down my face as I wept, nearly uncontrollably as healing overwhelmed my soul. Seconds later my friend began to describe the same scene, saying that Jesus was and always will be with me.
I learned that day, that I DO NOT have to try harder, I do not have to do a thing; I can simply just BE. Because I am already loved, I am already accepted, I am already good enough! I am already a daughter, I am already a friend, I am already everything God intended me to be.
And so are you my friend. There is freedom in knowing that before you even try, God our Father already loves you and is so deeply proud of you!
YOU are God’s beloved. His beloved daughter, His beloved Son. You are HIS. Just BE.