It is simple. Life is overwhelming. As a college student, day to day, I constantly think about my courses, studying, and my future. Being an adult comes with challenges and decisions, and none are easy, especially for the quintessential college student. It is just part of life.
Before college, I thought I had the perfect plan. From an early age, I was asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I wanted to be a writer since I was eight, but once I entered college, life got complicated. My career goals are taking shape of more than one dimension, and I am preparing for a future that I am still trying to understand. I know that I am not alone.
There is a passage in The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath, in which Esther imagines her life as a green fig tree that has a different future on every branch. Plath writes, “I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.” Like Esther, I do not want to be limited. I have been critically considering my other passions and how to weave them into my life during and after college. I wish I could be everyone I want to be and pursue all the desires of my heart. I hope that my path will diverge, and open opportunities and various futures. While I have been in college, I am noticing that my goals are changing and evolving. By the end of my first semester, I changed my major from Communications to English with a minor in Communications, which has prompted new possibilities and decisions for pursuing a writing career. I have been looking for internships, which is overwhelming in and of itself. Through these changes, I am gaining a deeper perspective and a widened mindset that goes beyond college and my career.
My greatest hope is that the future I imagine for myself fails by comparison to God’s will for my life. I want to seek His direction instead of my own. It is counterintuitive to human nature, but even so, life is not always logical. There is the paradox. Although the transition into adulthood during college is considered a part of life, an undeniable fact, there is nothing simple about it. In short, society presumes that adulthood happens when one has bigger decisions and responsibilities. As a society, we accept that it is a rite of passage. However, there are far more complicated problems that occur than choosing what school to attend, what major to declare, or applying to internships. Only by growing up, can we truly understand the magnitude of importance decisions have on our lives.